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VAVOOM: TED THE MECHANIC (Gillan/Glover/Lord/Morse/Paice)

Playing pool and drinking beer.
Nothing more'n the occasional tear.
But this man's life goes on and he gets
Greased all over from time to time.
At the strip joint, where we met
He said 'Hi, my name is Ted.
See that one over there
That ball of thunder.
Every time she goes Vavoom,
I wiggle in my chair.
Oh, can I buy you a beer?'
What a guy.

'I've had a few myself, he said,
'But I never quit when I'm ahead.
Too many rules and regulations
Stupid laws designed by fools behind closed doors.
And another thing I won't discuss is religion.
It always causes a fight Vavoom
There she goes again.
'How does she do that' said Ted.

And he told me of those unjustices that
He had suffered in his life.
His wife and kids and boss and dogs and neighbours
Raising cain and causing strife
They were forever whining
Bleating howling yapping screeching moaning crying Vavoom
He fed them well
He keep them warm.
Ted the Mechanic.

Thing about Ted, he didn't really care
Nothing much got in his hair
And the beauty of it was that he was right
He was big as a truck and fast as a door
(What's that?)
He was always right
The banjo player took a hike
What's that song
I used to like Vavoom
He was big as a truck
Fast as a door - Ted
What a guy.
Ted the man, our Ted.


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GIRLS LIKE THAT
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